Thinking About Sacrifice

I have fallen short in regards to the quality of my sacrifices in the past.   

To sacrifice is to give up what one has or enjoys, in the here and now, for something better in the future.

I have not acted this way. 

I have been the writer of my own tale of woe and needless misery.

But, all humans fall short, and some more than others.

Maybe, it is the ones who fall short the most, that eventually wake up and start setting their house in order.

It is obvious now.  

Feeble, half-hearted, sacrifices do not please the Gods, or the divine forces that underpin the world. 

Thankfully, one is not defined forever by the bungled sacrifices of the past. 

It is not the offerings we have made.

It is the offerings we are yet to make, that will inevitably define us. 

Why we all write so terribly

There was something profound about the manic and dangerous music producer Phil Spector -

He did not believe in edits - ever - the classic songs he recorded -‘ain't no mountain high enough’ the song about Spain - they were all recorded in the moment - they were a single performance caught in time and recorded down on tape - he refused to edit or mix them post-performance - everything was set up perfectly so when recording commenced and finished the song was already finished - this idea is genius in its simplicity - you don't fix things once you’ve done them

You accept 

You accept and revel in the beauty and imperfection of what you create and move on - you don’t sit around trying to massage things into greatness - in doing so - you only destroy the original goodness in one's original music, song, writing or piece of art - 

Editing your writing is dangerous - sure you may have the original sentence and the edit one and look at and compare them - but you know what - don't do it - your judgement gets skewed - it seems obvious that one will have an implicit bias for the reworked instead of the old - the more time you spend on something - the harder it is to let it go - or realize you wasted time on something that wasn't even broken 

It’s when you begin to lie to yourself in a poem in order to simply make a poem, that you fail. That is why I do not rework poems but let them go at first sitting, because if I have lied originally there’s no use driving the spikes home, and if I haven’t lied, well hell, there’s nothing to worry about. - Bukowski

Phil Spector did not cry over imperfections he prepared as much as he could then embraced his musical recordings - he would pile 20 musicians into a room - he would have three bass players - 4 percussionists - this is how he got his famous ‘wall of sound’ - can you imagine the fun he had - they all had - making records - when Spector wasn’t pointing his gun at the musicians and audio engineers telling him not to change a thing 

I remember recording a song once - years ago - it was my sister and I - it was a modest and simple song - but our recording had a magic to it - like Neil Young says you want to capture the magic - we caught some magic - we came back a week later and our song had been masquerade by post-production - it was heartbreaking - letting things be is a skill - it's a virtue - it pays off in the long-run - constantly tweaking things - can destroy things 

I re-read the Great Gatsby recently - the best and most energetic climactic chapter was the most rough - i thought to myself god this could’ve done with some editing - i was wrong - either the chapter had been over-edited - or it had been under edited - or edited least of all the chapters - i now come to think the latter of the three was the case - Fitzgerald messed with it least - it was complicated and challenging to write - he let it be - he did not ruin it - he enjoyed the beauty of the original - it doesn't matter if this even wasn't the case - the important thing to note is that there is something called - raw beauty - and it's fragile 

One of the most famous writing guides confirms my suspicions - you don’t want your writing to have ‘clear traces of engine grease on it’ from overworking - better to have no grease on it - just a very thin film of sweat, passion and love 

Three extremely famous writers defend this position of avoiding editing - Nietzsche - Bukowski - Kurouac - Nietzsche likened writing to calligraphy - as soon as one’s ideas were down on the page they were dead and dying - the beauty was in having them exist in one’s head and shot onto the page - the aphorism is at the end of beyond good and evil 

Bukowski claims writing should explode out of you and onto the page - you can’t do this if you are being overly critical - you lower your inhibitions - you stop judging you let the words come out of you - it's like an act of sex - you don’t critique things after the fact

Kerouac is open and vocal about his writing style ‘you have to let it blow’ you have to search around in your brain for things you want to write about but are scared to write about - you stop worrying about perfection and you can write about anything - you can write a lot - and you can feel a sense of release and emptiness once you have written things down on paper - writing is a form of emptying - that’s why Bukowski said he would pay to write - he said he would pay a $100 dollars an hour I believe or something to that effect - this is because writing is a form of psychotherapy - you have to write your own thoughts down - you have to write about yourself - through writing you reconnect with lost parts of yourself - you reintegrate what was lost but remains invaluable to the whole 

Think of Jordan Peterson - i like his style of writing - its beautiful - free fun and clear - and yet he laboured over what he wrote in one book for years - not that i am knocking his process - all I am saying is look at his verbal output and his written output - at least in terms of novels - I'm not including his papers - he has hundreds of hours of lectures - maybe even thousands of hours of lectures online now - and yet he has only written two books - i think this is a good example of over-editing - you can write 10 books or the same book ten times - although it may seem entirely justifiable to make sure many read and experience a single book with a beautiful reading experience - at the same time i think something tremendous is lost - volume, authenticity, humanness - to see someone you admire openly display their shared humanity is a beautiful thing - this is exactly what over editing covers up

Kerouac says read for the first word - a book I read - said the first you reach for is generally poison when you are starting out - but he also states the more sentences you write the better you get at forming sentence - i think this is true - in a sense, I think there are two forms of writing - repressed and unrepressed writing or perhaps suppressed and unsuppressed writing - take your pick - i think what proves enjoyable what leads to volume is to write a lot and write with abundance and freedom - 

Chess is helpful to explain this phenomenon - there are two games of chess for example and here I am being a reductionist - no i don't have to be - there are three games of chess - classical that takes say 3 hours - there is medium classic 120 mins - then there is speed chess say 1, 30, 10, 5-minute games - they are all pretty short - but what I am most interested in is bullet chess - 1-minute games - have you ever played a game of chess in one minute - it's exhilarating - you have to be completely in the moment - you have to draw on everything you know - you have to flow - you have to play from your gut - and there are no take backs no mental mind editing of moves - you think and move as one - mind and action become one - the best chess players excel in this style - many say this style of chess - bullet chess - is the key to their success - when you play like the wind - you realize how little time is necessary to play a game - you change - you evolve as a player 

Why do i mention all this - because you can write like a chess player plays bullet chess - you can write like lightening and in fact, the moves and sentences you play at lightning speed - are very unusually - you stop tripping over words and sentences - you keep pushing forward better or for worse and it's a way to play and write a lot - and there are many sayings that say to reach the quality you need quantity -

One example that illustrates this point is ‘clockwork orange’ this book was written fast - many famous books have been written fast - the work was brilliant - sometimes brilliance is a paradox - sometimes you don't have to force things to get where you are going - you simply have to do the opposite of what you are doing - stop agonizing over what you are writing and write a lot - see if the fun comes back into the practice - see if the thought of writing doesn’t scare you anymore - it's an idea worth pursuing - 

What if you could write years worth of content in a week - if you let yourself flow - and what if every week you improved as a writer - or more importantly as a human being

When I think of writing - I think of Calligraph - great calligraphers - never edited their calligraphy after the fact - they flowed on the lightening edge of the now - they practised for years in this way - those who were great practised over and over again - never edited and had to grow accustomed to the quick-drying speed of ink - sure they practised their own letters and symbols - but they still had to do so fast - you can practice writing sentence structures very fast with variation too - how writers amass such momentous outputs of works - they do so by writing in a different manner - a more human manner - i believe - 

Remember the analogy of the chimpanzees locked in a room full of typewriters who if given enough time would type out the collected works of Shakespeares - now realize - there is no great difference between a chimp and a human being.   

Dominance Battles, the Shadow and The Anima

 Dominance battles are rather amusing - but when you're in them they are deadly serious - one of my favourite section of 12 rules for life - is when Peterson has to confront his chronic alcoholic neighbour who keeps harassing him in the middle of the night selling electric appliances on his front doorstep - i know the feeling that Peterson felt when he had to rid his soul of the primitive primate dominance aspects ingrained in his body and DNA for millennia that wanted him to submit -

 in the past it would have been a very dangerous strategy to confront someone a lot stronger and more aggressive than oneself - perhaps it was common practice to deal with them when they were asleep - if you think about it a common theme in films is sneaking up on the bad guy and banging them over the head - or running them through with a sword 

- a similar more realistic drama likely unfolded for thousands of years for homo sapiens in our hominid past - 

in fact, I watched a doco by David Attenborough and this exact thing occurred to the leader of a Chimp troop - he was set upon at night had many of his fingers ripped off and was left for dead -

 he was the good leader! -

 it certainly is tough at the top - it has been it always will be - 

I had to engage in a dominance battle not long ago - my ability to do so was enabled by my ability to call on my Jungian shadow (instinct and disavowed aspects) - my shadow was angry and affronted - it unleashed verbally and with a strong dose of aggression - he met the aggressive nature of my interlocutor with gusto and cut through him like a knife through warm butter - my interlocutor was not a pleasant person - under his persona was a very disturbed and ugly person - and no, I'm not secretly talking about myself - he was trying to guide my life - he was trying to bend me to my will - but just like an overzealous child he found the boundary where my teeth erupted out of my jaw and curl and crush necks with canine precision - he has kept his distance ever since and been very docile - i knew something was up with him when he said his daughter had thrown a shoe at him - i too would throw a shoe at him if he was my Father - he had no boundaries - luckily I have my own -

 i am encircled like a fortress and the drawbridge is only lowered for those who I can bear the smell of - it's like Nietzsche says in Beyond Good and Evil - you can smell nobility or the lack of - you can also read it in body language - do not make friends with men who are lesser than you -

 it leads to regression - not progression - acknowledging one's baboon teeth is fun.  

 when I think of the top of human currently I think of Jeff Bezos - wow, this man is clever - to be able to build the biggest business out of a very small team is a gift - my only disappoint with Bezos is that he doesn't care more for his staff - he states that he is obsessed about the customer - his business model is customer centric - its build around satisfying the needs of customers - primarily around price - one would assume - the other form of business is product centric - obviously Amazon moves a lot of products so it is a combination of both - in effect, Amazon is a product centric business built around satisfying the needs of price and operational excellence - it would be great if Bezos looked after his staff more - limiting the level of dehumanizing exploitation - I've read articles on Amazon - they track employees hand movements with tech bracelets to make sure they are on task and maintaining an exceptionally high level of productivity - this is nothing new, however, it's more invasive - when I think of Amazon workers the American poet Charles Bukowski springs to mind - 

Bukowski use to work in a post office sitting down and flinging letters into boxes sorting them for delivery, not unlike current Amazon workers and boxes - he said whenever he finished a shift a pool of sweat would encircle his chair - he did this for years, decades - only by the skin of his teeth did he manage to avoid performing such a job until he retired and pulled down a pension - he was rescued by a literary entrepreneur who saw great economic and literary potential in Bukowski - the man made a deal with Bukowski - he would give him a chunk of his income for life - if he would leave the post office and write full time - 

Bukowski wrote his first novel in a matter of weeks - why? there's money in novels - one of the exceptional things I have taken away from Bukowski is when he talked to a young hippie man who was doing the new age spirituality thing - 

Bukowski said, just get a job in the Post office, son - and you'll understand the universe - what did he mean by this?

 If you get a job that is so demanding of you it will shatter your ego - your being or sense of self will be exploded and you will realize how you are not what you previously self-identified with - 

Eckhart Tolle would agree with such a sentiment - he mutters how spiritual breakthroughs come about through the surmounting of suffering - Hemmingway and Nietzsche - thought the same thing. I do too.

 I felt terrible recently - i had to meditate and navigate my negative thoughts - finally, i won the upper hand - the sense of clear-headedness and serenity was something completely out of the ordinary. 

Hemmingway's writing is colourful - and if you are in the right mood and - read the right story - the result can be magical - I read the old man and the sea a few years back - the book had a teleporter quality to it - not unlike H.P Lovecraft - 

you get the sense that you are delving into the deep recesses of the mind - the Jungian collective unconscious - the greatest stories are the ones with the storylines that run deepest into the psyche - 

this is what surprised me about Oscar Wilde's short story about the mermaid (different to the old man and the sea, both revolve around oceans) - it read like a myth - the style was like reading a tale carved on top of a granite tomb - every word was so well placed - the small repetitions of sentence structures loudly echoed similar aspects in Homer's Iliad for instance -

 What do H.P Lovecraft, Hemmingway, The Iliad and Wilde have in common - archetypal structures - the anima the idealized and evolutionary inheritance of all women passed down to men is apparent - 

It's interesting how the anima is depicted as a mermaid in Wilde's story - and how there is essentially a battle over the man or self - between the shadow - the trauma and visceral and instinctual power of man 

(we have both an individual and collective experience of the shadow. Just as there is a collective and personal unconscious within us from Jung's perspective - something I only found out recently but which makes a whole lot of sense. The personal unconscious is less archetypal and fundamental than the collective unconscious. Instead one can think about the two like this. The archetypes exist in the collective unconscious but they lack any form of symbolic expression; they are invisible phantoms. They then enter into the personal unconscious in which a person has stored all their personal experiences and the archetypes cloak themselves in experiential symbols and phenomena. It's helpful to know this. Especially if one is interested in interpreting dreams. Or living one's life.) 

If you search through your dreams. You will realize the anima and the shadow are opposed and work together. One is the feminine the other is masculine. One is chaos, the other order. They are yin and yang.  

Wilde's tale is interesting because the man is first captured by the anima - the mermaid and he swims down deep into the watery unconscious of the ocean with her. There they live happily. But the deal is that he has to meet his shadow on the land every couple of years. His actual shadow. 

Previously, the man met a witch and he demands that she show him how to cut it off the shadow, which she does under threat of pain from the man. 

But, when the shadow returns the man and it combines and go off on great adventures acquiring wealth and money, prestige and fame - nevertheless, the man returns to the water and parts from his shadow - 

but in the end, I believe, if I recall correctly, the man - forsakes the mermaid and is bound to the shadow - as he did not understand after re-joining too many times he would never be able to separate from his shadow - the problem with this is serious - the man can not live with his anima mermaid in the unconscious if he has integrated his shadow - a precondition of living with the mermaid anima is that he splits himself from his shadow 

A trade-off occurs within a man's life between one's allegiance to the shadow or the anima. 

what I want you to take away from this tale is this - 

the anima is crucial to coming to terms with oneself as a man - as displayed in Oscar Wilde's tale - the anima mermaid sets the man up for great success in the world - the man comes into contact with the deep and restorative powers of the anima the power of the feminine within him - only after this experience - after this rebirth has occurred - can he then return to the land of the living - reintegrate with his shadow and live a powerful and fulfilling life -   

The same experience of literary characters is seen in Hemmingway - in his famous safari tale about shooting a lion and the buffalo - the man - rediscovers his true sense of self his shadow when he faces fear and risks death in failing to kill the lion - the experience of shame - the full extent of the failure of himself as a man weighs on him - but, he then shoots a whole lot of other animals - and regains a true sense of who he is - the man fails - then falls under the power of the shadow - which is unlocked by voluntarily confronting the terror of the lion -

 but unlike in Wilde's story - the Anima figure in Hemmingway's tale is a troubled wife - who has cheated on him and dominates the man - she then becomes terrified when she sees the man has knitted his shadow back onto himself - consequently, she shots the man - because she knows he will either leave her or dominate her and be unstoppable - her window of opportunity to neutralize him is small - so she blasts him in the back of the head or neck - a man who has not undergone his development into manhood is one who has not knitted on his shadow - we see this in Peter pan - Wendy a kind anima figures sews it back on for him - and peter is then able to confront the world -

Why is the anima depicted as a mermaid in Wilde's story? and what can be grasped from this archetypally? The anima exits in the unconscious - this is her realm and domain - she is extremely powerful and can drag men into the unconscious - in fact, visiting the Anima in her lair is necessary - one has to map one's inner world to escape it - I think a deal is done between the anima and the shadow - the anima trains a man consoles him - and in doing so - she allows him to integrate every now and then with his shadow - after a time the process is no longer needed - the anima has performed her role - she then gives the man to the shadow - on the basis that the Anima is manifested in the world and married by the man and the shadow -

What would the basis of this assertion be? Think of the classic tale of the little mermaid - doesn't the mermaid always want her feet - doesn't she always want to walk on land and be instantiated in the world - obviously this is true - if this an easy task for her to achieve - no - does she exist in the unconscious with someone else - yes - her father - who I would claim is the shadow - after a bitter struggle a deal is done - the shadow grants the mermaid the ability to leave the unconscious world of the sea and walk on land - the man who was cast into the sea (the prince of the story) is rescued by the Anima - he is a man without his shadow - he re-orientates himself on the land (life) - but craves the solace of the Anima - the anima is granted access to the world when the man is ready and has established a place for himself in the world - the union between a man and anima that first operates in the unconscious world of the sea - plays out in the conscious world  

One can also reverse this - as there is a melding of archetype narratives - the mermaid - is the women (human) - who needs to escape the unconscious - by dealing with her shadow (her Father in the tale) -

she does this and is then able to enter into the physical world and marry her prince (lover) in the land of clarity and consciousness. 

One must enter into a union with the anima or animus within one's unconscious

Many of us divorce ourselves from this aspect of ourselves but it constantly appears 

After some time one must confront the shadow - one's trauma and lost aspects of oneself 

In integrating oneself with the unconscious and traumatic aspects of oneself 

One becomes fully conscious

And can enter into the world on one's own terms consciously 

One is then able to locate and secure a human being who takes on the symbolic form of the anima or animus in real life 

One falls madly in love with and marries such a person

It is best to marry someone who has undergone the same process i.e escaped from the world of the unconscious through integration

 

  

 

  

   

Recollection of Spinning Wheel Road trip Up North

 Boys on the road

Captain at the helm charting the course flooring the vehicle apexing corners  terrifying the life out of everyone

Jesus in a camper van  

yes we are 

we're back again 

long locks flowing through windy car windows

Annie and boomin frying up the honey sausages on the BBQ

Captain groans with disgust

 he hates the sausages

 I am guilty for choosing the bag

It seemed like a good deal 

until you realised all the sausages had a faint taste of disgusting honey in them

Nevermind

 life in a campervan

Driving through the country

 long Country Roads 

endless crowds of farting cows specked blue and black and green

Pulling up to the beach 

another unknown beach 

Perfect Day 

blaring beach chairs 

Unfolding freezing cold 

sea nipping at our feet

Captain going live on Facebook

 laughing hysterically  

stuck on the knife edge of the present moment 

All past troubles forgotten

Ultimate  mission objective

Get to the mountain, see the snow

Pulling into dark parking ground full of tourists like a zombie apocalypse town  after the bombs have gone off

Only one toilet

Life in a campervan

Boys find the weed roll it up into joints and smoke it and pass it around

Even Captain joins in puffing in huffing and laughing and getting pretty high 

Before favourite part of the day at night

Reviewing photos from the day 

captains laptop charged performing quality control

Anni sits around with baited breath

Eating lots of noodles drinking pink milk with coco pops cooking barbecuing  marinated chicken wings on public BBQ on Beach unknown 

Pulling into beach up north parked up right next to the ocean metres away

Stars shining high up in the sky like burning swirls of hot gas

Jesus in a campervan

Deathly Friday Night Loneliness Conquered Transformed into Aloness

 Walked about the neighbourhood 

Friday night 

the most challenging time to be alone 

the streetlights kept me company 

dressed up nicely 

Denim jacket over specked white jersey 

Hair freshly shampooed by neices

Laughing jokes in the bathtub

Looking in the mirror pretending they had given me a horrible haircut

Bubble white shampoo all through my hair

Little room in the tub for three of us

Nieces cackling with laughter

They wanted me to join so jumped in with togs on

Hot tap pouring beautiful lava into upstairs bathtub

Feelings of home

Tummies full from eating peas bacon and eggs from white circular plates downstairs at the kitchen table made of rimu by my great grandfather war veteran Harry

Nieces playing with their food feeding it to soft toys from tiny sharp toothpicks

Big uncle shoveling food into mouth 

Hungry

Extra bacon and eggs slopped on plate

Looking after nieces 

while their mother relaxes on phone upstairs in bed

Sleep soon

Jordan Peterson and The Mixed Bag of Fathers and Sons

Jordan Peterson's thoughts on children are funny - he looks at things with such a perceptive eye - for the life of me I can't even fathom the idea of despising Elmo - i think it says a lot about a person who doesn't like such a sweet, cuddly and pretty competent little guy.                  

For many Sesame st has little appeal without that little high pitched red kid looking after and loving people. 

Peterson sounds like a rather funny father to have - it's interesting thinking about Peterson as a father as so many people perceive him as a strong father figure - young men as he often points out flock to him - and he does offer a lot of insights that help men and who perhaps would've liked to have heard such pearls of knowledge from their own fathers - 

but fathers - even great fathers - are a mixed bag - they work hard and long hours and if they've gone through a bit in their own upbringing it can be hard to connect with them - sometimes the son has to reparent the father - this ties into what Peterson says when he discusses ancient Egyptians myths and how the son rescues the father and heals his eye sight so he can perceive reality with his own two eyes - there's truth in this.

For all men the father son relationship is extremely important - it can also be extremely painful - i actually find it interesting when Peterson talks about his father in the first chapter of 12 rules for life - the father is a key figure and he belongs at the beginning of many stories - its funny how something as trivial as building a bird cage with ones father is not really so - its deeply serious - such events can and do permeate the existence of a boy and mans entire life - its often the case when your doing something - you don't realize how important it is until years later - 

activities carried out between fathers and sons are fundamental - to a happy life -

i recall going to a field near my school with my nieces - i saw a father and son kicking a ball around - i could tell the father was good - he offered such kind words of encouragement to his offspring - the phrase I recall the most is 'good hands' - phrases and uplifting comments from one's father carry a value far more important than anything the market can stamp on them

 - the son and father kept kicking the ball - 

it became obvious the father was a skilled player and he was passing down his skills to his son whose own prowess was developing rapidly - 

at the other end of the field was another father - he was a withdrawn loner - listening to his headphones - consumed by his phone - and simply ignoring all four or so of his kids 

- he still wore chuck taylors and used a skateboard 

- this father did not engage with his children - he was blind to them - it was as if he could not see them 

- such a point ties in with Peterson when he mentions how the disgusting female psychologist mother who abused her son through ruthless neglect was wilfully blind to the her sons sufferings - her son was effectively being starved   

- the same cut of cloth was noticeable in the second father at the school 

- he was simply concerned with satisfying his own needs and not those of his own children - 

the fathers oldest son alongside myself watched hungrily as the more emotionally aware and fun father (not perfect) was kicking the ball with his son 

- a certain ache or vibration erupted from our chests and blew about in the wind - 

to not have a father who searches you out and takes you on adventures - let alone helps you navigate and upskill on such trepidations is painful - it creates a festering a wound that is eventually buried deep inside the darkness of one's forbidden and terrifying forest of the mind.

- and yet there we were standing up tall and watching on the side lines as the golden boy played with his golden Dad - eventually we turned away and both must have thought at exactly at the same time - nice for some, nice for the blessed, nice for those who don't know the depths of suffering that a young man or young boy could ever feel 

- thankfully inside oneself is the father one always dreamed of having. 

What Do You Think About - And How Do You Feel - When You See A Loving Couple?

Her arms swinged about her as she walked with her partner - she wore a burgundy top and blank yoga pants - her hips were wide and appealing- her skin tone was the colour of a pink peach - they walked in tandem - her man and her - she was desirable - you wanted to be alongside her- you wanted to hear what she had to say - and stare into her face - perhaps wrap an arm around her - steal a kiss from her - smack her ass even - these were the thoughts that ran through my mind at a lightning sprint. 

- her man was strong - he wore black - he seemed to be caught up in his phone while half listening to her - i wonder if I would have done the same - I doubt it - but one can never be sure.

 it was nice to see the couple walking together.

- i wondered whether that would be me one day - i think it will be - i like the idea of being next to that women - but a different one - one with those wide hips and arms swinging in the wind as she giddily talked to her man - and that man would be me

and I would stare down into the depths of her eyes and tell her - that all sounds interesting - but you know what's really interesting is - how beautiful you are - how much I love you and - how happy I am to be with you.

she’d turn to me and smile with a surprise and lean up to kiss me and I would accept the soft mound of her lips with a singing joyful passion and whisper into her ear 

- your mine. 

Having written this the resentment dissipated and I returned to my work with a cloudless mind. 

Have You Recently Thought About Your Childhood and How You Learnt To Ride A Bike? Who With?

1# Mental Sketch - Totally Present Writing

Boys riding little bikes with mother chasing behind them - there small but fast - they whistle down the footpath like smooth gliding bullets shot from a gun - mother can not control them - they are in a state of controlled chaos - the parking lot is dangerously close - mother tells them to follow the path - they do - they follow the path - wheeling into two sliding glass doors - not there shouts mothers - the boys can not change tack - they go whistling through the university doors - mother just manages to stop them and turn them around - one flies off in one direction - the other is slower - then bounds off at great speed after his brother - the boys are tiny - miniature men riding miniature bikes - chased by a giant and loving mother.

i turn around and watch them after picking up two bombie knockers from the ground dropped by a tree - like I always do each day - the ritual helps me reconnect with my childhood - the boys remind me of my two friends - they were twins just like the boys - they rode their bikes in much the same fashion - my bike was different bigger - i never had trainer wheels - my mother taught me to ride my bike - it was a nasty affair - a lot of falling over on the grass - but the pain and struggle and failing was worth it - i loved riding along the grass - that's where and how i learnt to ride a bike - on the grass - i could fall over and fail there and not be grazed and bloodied.

the boys brought all these sweet and sour memories flooding back to me 

my childhood - that’s a strange place - a forgotten kingdom - a world hidden in the depths of my memory banks - a world i tend to visit more now - to reconstruct a more deeply integrated form of myself - it's amazing how I was so cut off from my childhood - trauma will do that - trauma tricks us into thinking things were worse than they were - or things were better than they were - mindfulness teaches us - best to let things be - best to let things flow - don’t force things - don’t pay money to be something your not - dont drive around in circles without knowing your driving around in circles - aim to be a whole human being - not some giant walking ear like Wagner - be great in your smallness - allow yourself to grow big in time - be one with nature - flow like the boys with their little legs propelling themselves on their little bikes without pedals being chased by their mother - be in the moment - forget the past and the future - run through the wind like a zipping arrow - never look back unless it helps you strengthen your ability to confront the present - follow the road - until the mother - nature - tells you to change tacks - and only then - do so grudgingly.

Writing Mindfully like Jack 

https://www.amazon.com/Book-Sketches-Penguin-Poets-Kerouac-ebook/dp/B001NGN2C8/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ll1&tag=dghblogmindfulness-20&linkId=6305232845f638814d73d31fb8b053e9

https://www.developgoodhabits.com/mindful_writing/

How to do a beat word sketch:

• Stop what you are doing for 5 or 10 minutes to record a stream of consciousness. 

• You can write about the things you see around you or the thoughts that pass through your head.

• Don't use full sentences, grammar, or punctuation while you are writing. Simply add a dash between your thoughts.

• Embrace your trivial thoughts and write them down alongside any deep thoughts that come to mind as well. Let your left brain and your right brain take turns providing you with content. This will open up your mind and get you thinking about new ideas, or just paying attention to your current thoughts

Lock in with nature

Listen to calming sea sounds and Tibetan chimes. 

Connect with brief. 

Delete all inner inhibitions.

Write totally in the present. 

Recall everything you noticed and try and capture as best you can and embrace the imperfection. 

Aphorism 270 in which Nietzsche Discusses How Suffering Produces Nobleness in Humans (BGE)

 

My families Patreon is active 💪🌞

 

https://www.patreon.com/biolettimusings1

'Welcome to our family patreon. 

Where we post all of our creative content hot off the press. 

From writing to music to food and art we have a range of passions. 

We hope you enjoy, laugh or cry at everything we make. 

Our goal is to help the world that little bit brighter.

Take care, Bioletti Musings. ❤️🙏👋'

Included:

I will be writing a newsletter. 

Mum will be doing her popular blog posts. 

Dad will be doing short stories. 

Volita will be offering homemaking and gardening tips. 

Gabe will be creating a musical piece. 

That's just the tip of the iceburg. 

Maungawhau, Rangi-nui & Whakapapa

Here's a photo from the summit of Mt Eden. 

I snapped it while standing on the new lookout platform the local Maori iwi graciously installed for the public.

It was windy when I took the photo. 

I was the only one there when I did, as I visited the maunga during the day, and earlier in the week. There are few tourists out and about in Auckland, because of Corona and the current lockdown at level 2.5.

 I love looking at the sky; it's the perfect mindfulness activity. When I look up high into the clouds, I imagine my spirit flying about with the Maori Father God: Rangi-nui.  I read an interesting book yesterday, that discussed the Maori concept of Whakapapa (genealogy all the way back to the source of creation), and it resonated with me.

 I'm happiest when I connect with my whakapapa: the trees, the land, the sky and clouds, we are all one and linked together, as we all partake in the sacred source of all creation that emanates from 'the big bang', and whatever else came before that most momentus event, if anything. 

In fact, Maori mythology illustrates how the known universe came into existence. Thus happened when Rangi and Papa (God of the sky and goddess if the earth respectively) were wrenched apart by their smartest child, Tane Mahuta, who became God of the forest and the creator of the first human women. Until recently, I didn't realise how ancient Maori myth mapped on perfectly to the 'big bang' theory of modern science. Now I know. And, maybe Rangi the sky god was also the god of dark matter making him a perfect inversion of his wife Papatuanuku goddess of matter. I could be onto something. 😉

 

The Odyssey As A Metal Song

This song is the Odyssey in metal.                  In ancient times, Homer, played a prototype of the guitar and sung his epics to audiences on his travels. He was the original rockstar.    I just know he would've loved this song.        Few things are more emotive than returning home to the ones one loves. 

https://youtu.be/0n3cUPTKnl0

Turning Information into Knowledge - The Process

 Process to retain knowledge.

Preview 10 page chunk or section of a book (read first line of paragraphs and think about headings, read concluding section) and think about it abstractly in relation to stuff you know, you don't know, and what you want to know.

Next, read paragraphs. Identify key sentences or idea in each one and summarise it in a brief sentence or two on piece of paper by hand. Continue this until you get tired. Break. Then return. 

The next day or later in week. Review notes. Think about content abstractly in relation to other things in your head. Read them aloud. Refine notes further on piece of paper. Create questions to quiz yourself.

I think that is how it is done.

Moss

Love ya. 💪🌈❤️😎

How to learn by reading

 

How to learn by reading.

Be relaxed and excited, because you're about to acquire new knowledge and from this comes...

Read 10 pages or a brief section at a time.

The Skim:

Mentally note all headings.
Read the intro and conclusion normally.
Then skim read the first and last line of each paragraph.

After this think about these questions:

What is this section about?
How does it relate to my prior knowledge?
(recall any stored associations).
What is the big question I can't answer now, but which I soon will be able to answer after reading this section?

Remember to channel positivity - 'Man, I'm curious to know more'.

Be grateful - 'Someone dedicated their life to accumulate and distill this knowledge for you. You are dwarf standing on...

The Deep read:

Eliminate distractions. Be mindful. Meditate. Still the mind. Relax. Begin.

Read a paragraph. Write down a question that identifies the juiciest info of the paragraph.

Use a pen and paper. Science does not lie.

Then flip your page over. Synthesise the answer to the question in your own words. To do this read the paragraph closely and hold onto the essential contents. Then mindfully, consciously and with care formulate a few brief sentences in your own words that answer the question you wrote down.
Number your questions and answers.

Carry out this process.

You may notice insights come to you make a column next to your questions and write them down.

If tired break immediately. We don't want to push the brain too hard.

Summarize the section dude!

When you get to the end write down the most interesting aspects of the section.

Don't stress just recall the things you naturally remember and the main idea and answer.

The Game:

Read your questions aloud.
Even in a whisper.
Verbally recall your answers.
If you can't remember don't stress check the answers after trying your best.
Your answers may be key words or fragments.
This isn't bad, this is good!
Rentension is accumulative.
Your storing new info on your brain.
Check the answers after each question.
Read them aloud. This helps you learn. Science.

It takes time to form memories.

Reward - Chill Out - High Five

Once you hit ten pages reward yourself. Get out. Get active. Walk. Shot some hoops. Chill out. Nap. Meditate.

Do not input new info. Your brain is working unbeknownst.

Notice how you enjoyed the process, and how you enjoyed reading the 10 pages.

But you didn't read. You learnt. And learning in a relaxed and a highly effective manner is always fun - regardless of the subject matter.

It may seem slow. It may seem like your playing. It may seem strange, but that's learning for you.
It's magical.

Review your notes every now and then. Until the test questions and answers become too easy.

Edit together the summaries for each section of your reading.

Outstanding.

Auckland city slept, silence reigned, and I walked about, half dazed.

Lockdown had reduced the city to a murmur.

Smartly dressed office workers seemed to no longer exist.

Jackhammers no longer smashed through concrete.

The hard-hat, orange-clad, ciggie smoking workers had vanished.

I couldn’t tell you who was going to fill the potholes.

Anxiety raced up my spine and into the depths of my psyche.

I was living a day longer than any year I had experienced.

Joviality and fun were somewhere, but they weren’t here.

Only mind-melting, all-pervasive, rotten smelling solitude remained.

I padded along in the sun with increasing sadness.

A deep longing for everyone flooded my emotions.

Cloud-Watching - Mindfulness - Deepak Chopra

 

Looking out my window. 

I see it's a cloudy day. 

A giant Stratus white cloud floats at low altitude engulfing everything in the sky. Blotting out blue. 

Yesterday, it was wonderful. The sky was free of clouds. A gorgeous matte blue sky reached out to the horizon as if a minituare 'big bang' had gone off exploding blue in all directions.

Weeks ago, the sun turned pink and filtered through peebly white clouds all bunched up together. When I saw them all I stopped walking. I stood still. Absorbing the serene the natural beauty. Then and there I decided to learn the names of clouds. 

Alto-cumulus were the small, white, round clouds. I spotted in the sky. 

My new favourite clouds were an uncommon formation. 

Why cloud-watch? It's easy to do. It helps clear the mind. It's a way to practice mindfulness. 

Spiritual teacher, Deepak Chopra, encourages everyone to connect with nature. In doing so, we align ourselves with the source of universal consciousness running like a river throughout the entire cosmos. When we embrace the sky, the flowers, the trees. We tap into a higher level of intelligence. We transcend human egoistic limitations and unleash limitless potential.    

Humans, animals, nature, everything in the universe, is one. How easy it is to forget this. 

Everyone is Mindful Unconsciously. The Trick is Consciousness.

  🙏 Mindfulness is easy to learn.  It helps you study and live a happier life. It is full immersion in the task at hand.  When you 🎣 on the beach 🏖️ it's highly likely you are being mindful. The same applies for when you play 🎾 and 🥁. The greatest gift you can give anyone is being mindfully present with them, especially with your 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦. Past, future, these are forgotten. Avoiding distractions and focusing on the present is  mindfulness. The thing is! You can be mindful constantly. Why? Because we all live in the present. Think less. Do more. Be present. 🙋‍♂️🌞