I did some explorative research into simpletons and 'simps' this morning. The concept that men over idolize women.
It's amazing how susceptible genders can be to idolizing their opposite sex. We've all done it. Infatuation is real. But, I don't like the term 'simp'.
It's too loaded with derogatory connotations toward men. It's not easy navigating human instincts as a man or women, especially in a hyper-sexualized and narcissistic world where empathy can be exploited and undervalued.
The term 'simp' is a label. It also functions on a 'black and white' basis. Both are cognitive distortions that cbt allows one to overcome.
While being labelled foolish or a simpleton is easier on one's ego than being called a 'simp'. What this concept really brings to light is the
Inexperience of authentic, interactions with the opposite sex.
How to become more experienced with the other gender? Well, I'm of the opinion that shame doesn't allow a person to heal and develop a deeper understanding of oneself.
Self-compassion does.
To comprehend the true motivation of why one gives to another demands a strong and robust sense of 'self-care'. We all have wounds.
Many give and take for wrong reasons. Many for the right reasons but in the wrong way. Many men love women. Many have genuine hearts. And a deep appreciation of the feminine.
A small minority don't.
Such men have deep wounds from childhood.
The same goes for women. Many love men.
Others wish to turn the masculine into worshipping, half-starved, slaves. By exploiting their inexperience. Inexperience that is not solely the responsibility of the individual but collective modern society as a whole.
In our world the genders are starved for meaningful, non-inebriated, conscious interaction between each other. Drunken frat parties don't count.
The irony is momentous. Those who have the potential to truly love you - may seem detestable to you. And those who will never love you - may prove incredibly desirable. For a time at least.
The solution: Love hard, but don't be a doormat. Tell and act out the truth when dealing with the opposite gender. Don't lie to yourself or others. Avoid those who hurt or disrespect you. Beware and be aware of one's libidinal instincts. Always treat others as an end in themselves and not a means. Censor one's dreams of the other sex so they don't make you run away into a fantasy of frustration and unhappiness in never neverland.
Connect with one's Anima - the storehouse of the feminine in one's masculine unconscious.
And the animus in the feminine individuals unconscious. In which all the interactions with men are stored.
And confront and own one's shadow.
In short, read Carl Jung.
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